So kiss me like you did

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 03:34:05 GMT

PS-
AIM= ohROCKSTARx3
or myspace = www.myspace.com/kissmeteaseme

those are the only two ways you can get my new lj name.

Thu, 01 Mar 2007 03:09:51 GMT

Peace the fuck out lj.
Half of you guys are just looking to start shit with other people.

So, therefore, i'm starting fresh.
I'm making a new lj.
And if you want the URL you can IM me for it and i'll let you know if you can have it. If not, I'll let you know why you can't have it.

THANKS.

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 17:31:28 GMT

all i want to do is just lay down, and sleep and update my lj.
but my freikin cat is sleeping on my damn chest and i cant move.

thisisrediculous.

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 06:02:55 GMT

I'm just putting up old blogs from myspace that i want to save. No need to read unless you're bored.

December 29
When the sun goes down and the moon comes up
When the day rests easy and the night is alive
When the wind is blowing a symphony of sounds
I'll be waiting.

If the tide comes up while I'm sinking in sand
If rain pours from heaven while I'm wishing on stars
If you suddenly realize my love is not enough
I'll be waiting.

While the other girls with their fancy words
Try to steal you with their grace
And the jealous boys with opinions raised
Try hard to change your mind.

While your heart beats "yes"
And your head holds confusion
As a whisper travels miles from home|
Don't run away.

There's a girl with a heart
Beating in synch with yours
And a head of confusion
Trying to figure everything out.

And I'm looking at you, beautiful
With your heart full of gold
And I'm getting better
Cuz you're helping me now.

And when you reach for my hand
I know what you're saying
And when you reach for my face
I'm in love.

November 6
Hey players.
I wrote a poem, for Nick of course.
I'm going to type it out for you, but first.

My uncle Bruce passed away yesterday morning around 9 AM. He'd been fighting with his liver for years, and after a transplant two years ago (which I'm still convinced was from Malcolm's father who passed the night before he got it) we thought he was goin to make it out of this so well for the second time. But, I suppose you can only ask for so many miracles.
Please keep my family in your prayers. We could use the support.

Starlit Journeys
(11.6.06. 1:01 AM)
It starts with a night I don't want to end
And a journey down roads that lead straight to the stars.
Sitting next to you, you don't notice my shaking hands
My shallow breathing or my frantically beating heart.
Silence is rare between the music we crave
And the endless possibilities of rapid conversations.
Words that bring us closer as though we have one mind,
One mind that is speaking from our separate mouths.
As you stop the car, I wonder what the night sky will bring
To two souls so in tune such as our own.
A cold breeze reminds me that I am indeed alive
Sharing the same stars with such a beautiful heart.
I am no longer a child hypnotized by puppy love
For with you, I am as infinite as the sky we lay under.
Lips do not touch and hands do not roam
Strictly because of the fear that it might feel right.
I have no intention of making this hard for either of us
With such fragile hearts that cannot afford another break.
A smile, a laugh, and a heart full of hope
That someday all of this will be everything we need.
The time passes by and suddenly the clock guides us home
To two separate homes, two separate beds and no direction for tomorrow.
As we pull up to my house all I can do is get out of the car
So I don't wreck my brain for words I am afraid to say.
I retire to bed with a promise of another night with you soon
And a smile I cannot erase from my fatigue-stained face.
After several nights like this I reach for my notebook
Where I try deseprately to scribble words you dare not know.
My constant fear of losing your beautiful heart is catching up
And suddenly I hesitate to speak when I hear your voice.
It starts with another night I fear will end
Without your gentle words to keep my hope alive.
And it ends with me, awake at two o'clock in the morning
Waiting for a sign that the words I am writing are the only confession you need.

July 23
I'm the girl who likes to be kissed in the rain, more than inside your bedroom or in an expensive resturant...

I'm the girl who says,"ok, but you owe me..." jokingly not because I actually want something, but because it means I get to spend more time with you...

I'm the girl you can take absolutely anywhere and I will (or at least try to) have fun because it means I am spending time with you...

I'm the girl who is incredibly picky, but when I find someone I like I want to spend the whole night curled up in their arms...

I'm the girl who never forgets all the sweet little things you do for me...

I'm the girl who never gives up hope even when I tell others I have...

I'm the girl who once I let you into my heart, there's always a place there with your name on it.

And even if we spend time apart, I'm the girl who never forgets you.

I'm the girl who loves to end a hug with a kiss...

I'm the girl who laughs at your jokes...

I'm the girl who will have many inside jokes with you and will remember each one...

I'm the girl who will listen to you talk...

I'm the girl who loves it when you hug me for no apparent reason...

I'm the girl who loves it when you hug me from behind or kiss me just because you want to..

I'm the girl who loves you for you, and doesn't care what other people say about us...

I'm the girl who loves it when you introduce me to your friends as your girlfriend...( I hate being called "the roomate")...or "this is her guys"

I'm the girl who loves the feeling when you take me by the hand without saying a word...

I'm the girl who will play video games with you instead of taking you away from them...

I'm the girl who will play with you in the pool, instead of sit on the side while "tanning"

I'm the girl who....IS REAL

SWEET HEARTED GIRLS : If you are this girl repost this saying "I'm This Girl"

DUDES: If you want this girl repost "I want this girl"

LUCKY BASTARDS: If you have this girl repost "I have this girl

January 23
I'm quite aware of our situation
The way our relationship deteriorates
The way I can't talk to you without crying
I'm jealous, but you would be too.
She replaced me in your heart
Oh wait, so did she
Go ahead,boy, keep pushing me away
Watch what happens when I break.
I'm bleeding myself dry for you
And you're oh so into her
You're lying cuz I've heard "we're just friends" before
Go on, tell me again why you can't love me.
Fix this, oh I dare you
You know I've never felt like this before
Now you're playing with emotions
Not just mine, but hers and yours.
Lie to me again
Watch my eyes sparkle as you sing
When you serenade me, the world, it goes away
But you can't serenade the dead.

-->DEDICATED TO THAT STUPID BOY I CANT GET AWAY FROM. :-/

august 26, 2005
BAND GIRLFRIENDS GUIDE TO KEEPING YOUR MAN
(by those who know)

-Don't try to be the "manager", do not get involved with band business, that is for the band.

-Don't ask his bandmates for releationship advice.

-Do Not complain when your (insert holiday here) date gets cancelled because a show has been schedualed. Holidays are no longer yours. Even Valentines Day!

-It's NOT mandatory that you are at every show.

-Do not get jelous when your boyfriend talks to groupies. They are the ones's buying the CDs and merch, not you, so let them have their time. And remember...you get to go home with him!

-Babies don't make men quit bands....especiially if you were a groupie.

-No the band does not want you to go on tour with them. Like your going to sleep in the back of a van and eat ramen for 4 months strait!?

-Don't make the following introduction: Hi! I'm _____. My boyfriend is in ______.

-Don't follow him around at shows like a lost puppy, he is taking care of business, find your own crowd.

-Don't go to band practice. And it's normal to have practice more than once a week.

-Do not assume everyone loves your boyfriend's band.

-Don't make out with other band members girlfriends at the bar. Save that for the after party.

-Don't turn yourself into a walking flyer for your boyfriend's band. The shirt is fine, but must you break out the hat, the hoodie, AND the stickers on your ass?

-Do not stand in front of your boyfriend while he is onstage and stare at him like he is the greatest guitar god in thew world.

-No rumpshaka dances during the show, that is unless your man is in 2 Live Crew.

-Do not change your style based on the type of band you date. Going from preppy to Nu to hardcore shows you are not your own individual.

-If he calls while out on the road, don't complain about when he is coming home. You're lucky he is using the quarter to call you, instead of buying gas or food.

-Never say anything negative about your man's band that you cannot say to him. It will only come back to bite you in the ass.

-If your a stripper, keep work on the pole, not at shows. Not everyone wants to know Victoria's Secret.

-Never cause a fight right before your man goes on stage. Relationship problems can be dealt with after the show.

-If they have a show out of town, don't drive just so you and your boy can have "alone time". Because you want to "talk".

-Don't buy your man a new intrument so he and his band mates can match. It's metal core, not fashion core.

-You cannot drink on the band's tab! Buy your own!

-Keep the band seperate from your everyday life. That's your boyfriend's passion, find your own

July 25, 2005
. Watch the sunset together.

2. Whisper to each other.

3. Cook for each other.

4. Walk in the rain.

5. Hold hands

6. Buy gifts for each other.

7. Roses.

8. Find out their favorite cologne/perfume and wear it every time you're together.

9. Go for a long walk down the beach at midnight.

10. Write poetry for each other.

11. Hugs are the universal medicine.

12. Say I love you, only when you mean it, and make sure they know you mean it.

13. Give random gifts of flowers/candy/poetry etc.

14. Tell her that she's the only girl you ever want. Don't lie!

15. Spend every second possible together.

16. Look into each other's eyes.

17. Very lightly push up her chin, look into her eyes, tell her you love her, and kiss her lightly.

18. When in public, only flirt with each other.

19. Put love notes in their pockets when they aren't looking.

20. Buy her a ring.

21. Sing to each other.

22. Always hold her around her hips/sides.

23. Take her to dinner and do the dinner for two deal.

24. Spaghetti? (Ever see Lady and the Tramp?)

25. Hold her hand, stare into her eyes, kiss her hand and then put it over your heart.

26. Dance together.

27. Love the way a girl looks right after she's fallen asleep with her head in my lap.

28. Do cute things like write I love you in a note so that they have to look in a mirror to read it.

29. Make excuses to call them every 5 minutes

30. Even if you are really busy doing something, go out of your way to call and say I love you.

31. Call from your vacation spot to tell them you were thinking about them.

32. Remember your dreams and tell her about them.

34. Tell each other your most sacred secrets/fears.

35. Be Prince Charming to her parents.

36. Brush her hair out of her face for her.

37. Hang out with his/her friends.

38. Go to her family outings, even if they are crazy.

39. Take her to see a romantic movie and remember the parts she liked.

40. Learn from each other and don't make the same mistake twice.

41. Describe the joy you feel just to be with him/her.

42. Make sacrifices for each other.

43. Really love each other, or don't stay together.

44. Let there never be a second during any given day that you aren't thinking about them, and make sure they know it.

45. Love yourself before you love anyone else.

46. Learn to say sweet things in foreign languages.

47. Dedicate songs to them on the radio.

48. Fall asleep on the phone with each other.

49. Stand up for them when someone talks trash.

50. Never forget the kiss goodnight and always remember to say, "Ill be dreaming of you"

Sat, 06 Jan 2007 03:04:24 GMT

I'm sitting here in horrible pain because of getting my wisdom teeth out. I haven't moved in a couple hours and mommy is keeping me full on soup, pudding, and go-gurt. I can't drink anything through a straw and I havent had a cigarette all day, and can't have one for 48 hours, so I'm going to be really pissy for a while.
I'm watching Rent, also, but I don't really get what's going on, and some girl just mooned me. And the movie has French subtitles, even though the subtitles are shut off on my TV. I don't get it.
Now I'm thirsty. And on 3 different medications. And I wish I could chew something cuz I really want french fries.

So, what else? Oh, I might be seeing Stephen on Friday. Hopefully, just because it's important that I meet him and realize that he's a real person. I'm not looking for a relationship out of him. I'm not looking for him to change his mind and be with me when he's going out of state for college next year and i'm not even sure that i'll be in college next year. it's just that i need to see him, and make sure he's real. it's just going to be crazy because i talked to him for over a year and never met him. What is my deal?

Nick just called me. He didn't know I got my wisdom teeth out, and he wanted me to go out with him tonight, but I clearly cannot. It was nice of him to call me and see how I'm doing, although I've actually never been happier since he's not a part of my life anymore. It's just weird that I had 3 missed calls from him on New Years Eve at exactly midnight. It makes me wonder why out of everyone he was with , and all his friends, why he wanted to call me when the ball dropped?

I'm miserable. And really emotional for some reason. It's horrific. A lot of people are being really nice to me lately and it seems genuine, and i hope its genuine. It just shows a lot of character from those people, that no matter what's been said between us we can all just grow up and talk and be civil to each other. It shows maturity.

OK i'm going to lie down for now.
<33

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 04:00:02 GMT

So, unlike normal people, since I can't sleep I'm up at 11 o'clock watching sad music videos online. And crying my eyes out. And I've been doing it all day today and I still don't know what's wrong with me.

I don't want to talk about last night right now, because one thing is for sure. I couldn't be with one of the only people I wanted to be with last night. and when some kid I didn't even know kissed me on the cheek, I pushed him away. Strictly because I'm waiting for Stephen. I have been for almost a year now, and I will still always love him, no matter what. I've dated other people, but no one compares to the completeness I felt when we were practically married. Now that he's back in my life, I fear I'll mess up again.

Crap, Rascall Flatts-What Hurts the most...i need to stop doing this.
After this, ill probablly play christina augelira, and then finally pass out.

h.e.l.p

Tue, 29 Aug 2006 02:30:26 GMT

A-English 4 (wall)
B-(s1)Music Tech/Recording (tucker)
B-(s2)Design Studio (serra)
C-Precalc (forde)
D-(q1)Independent Living (gonzales)
D-(q2)Life Long Wellness (ciliberto)
D-(s2)Real World (ranieri)
E-(s1)Study (room 107)
E-(s2)Study (room 222)
F-(s1)School To Career (haddad)
F-(s2)Modern Terrorism (mcneil)
G-Select Choir (richter)

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 18:33:03 GMT

This is a message for my darling Emily.
My rock, my wall, my heart and my best friend.
When life gets me down she's one of the only people that will tell me straight up how it is, and she can get me through it with a cigarette and a rockstar.
Without her, I know I'd be dead or insane.
Either way, I know I couldn't survive knowing she wasn't around to help me out.
So, my dearest Emery, thank you.
For picking me up
Partying with me
Inviting me to Boston
Making me laugh
Talking to me
Giving me cigarettes
And alcoholic bevarages
And never abandoning me when I need you.

I love you lots & lots. Don't ever forget that.
My bed will always be open for you if you need a night away :-)

Wed, 24 May 2006 03:00:06 GMT

ps-
i think i saw graham at CVS in the hanover mall today.

weiiiiird.

i ran away.

Wed, 24 May 2006 02:56:16 GMT

Bret makes me so happy.
I can't even write in my livejournal anymore.
It's so dumb.

Friend edit soon.
Why not now?

Sat, 20 May 2006 04:40:33 GMT

Over My Head (Cable Car) The Fray lyrics
Artist: The Fray
Album: How To Save A Life
Year: 2005
Title: Over My Head (Cable Car)

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears and

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
You find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between and

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Everyone knows
She's on your mind

Everone knows I'm in
Over my head
I'm in over my head
I'm over my

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Tue, 16 May 2006 02:42:13 GMT

I reallllly like it when Bret comes to visit me at work.
Well, not when he comes in.
But running outside to see if he's there
&then him being there...
I don't think you understand the butterflies I get..

I have his sweatshirt now.
Cute<3

Mon, 15 May 2006 03:20:07 GMT

I think I might be real happy.

Yup.

:-)

Thu, 11 May 2006 03:21:48 GMT

And just like that *snaps fingers*
bret&i are together.

<3

Mon, 08 May 2006 21:23:21 GMT

I don't even know anymore.

Tonight-hanging w/ Molly
Tomorrow-Molly&Jo&fest
Wednesday-Molly,Hoban,Cindy
Thursday-Work
Friday-Molly(rocco&steve or curtis or mikey)

grr..

i hate boys.
i hate me.
i hate shs.

Fri, 05 May 2006 00:35:09 GMT

"Because remember: Life is about feeling good because you look good. And being beautiful." -->Johnathan Antin (Blow Out)

I hate beauty.

Tue, 02 May 2006 18:32:19 GMT

I can't stop.

Gah. Idiot.

Sat, 29 Apr 2006 15:34:02 GMT

Prom sucked.
Dyell is my best friend.
Thanks babe.

Fri, 28 Apr 2006 10:42:14 GMT

I had the best dream about Bryan last night..

I don't think you understand how happy I am that he's coming down tomorrow.

I look forward to long hugs on the beach like old times..

Ya. that'd be nice.

Tue, 25 Apr 2006 03:08:35 GMT

&just when they were getting better...

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 16:13:39 GMT

Mitch aggrivates me.
I knew he would do this.

Sun, 23 Apr 2006 22:35:48 GMT

My arms are starting to heal..again. I hate that.
Graham is a douchebag.
I get to work with you know whooo tomorrow night & wednesday night and saturday night.
Prom is Friday..Gag me.
I'm wicked excited to go with Molly.
Johnny thinks I'm a lesbian.
I haven't been drunk in ages.. :-(
I had an anxiety attack at work.

No school for me tomorrrow :-)
Parents come home tomorrow :-) / :-(
This vacation kinda sucked.

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 00:32:52 GMT

Screw Quinn...(not miller, dyell)

Corey=superrrr cutee
&
I trained him all day on registers
and we're like..amazing as a team.
I decided.

Um..ya.
I <3 work :-)

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 21:54:50 GMT

Quinn=cute
Quinn=taken
Quinn seems to always clean where Brittany is.
Quinn has the same music taste as Brittany and thinks they should compare CD's.
Quinn=taken.

:-/

Mon, 17 Apr 2006 00:38:26 GMT

I just want to breatheeeee.
I hate boys.
The only boy I like has a dumb girlfriend who's using him.

GRAWR.

:-(

i just want someone to play with me on the beach.